Men's Consciousness
Raising Group

Contact/Chairperson: Victor Sperber
Meets: Thursday evenings, 7:45-9:45

Last updated April 17, 2003

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Since 1983, a small group of men of varying ages has been meeting for weekly confidential discussions of the positive and negative aspects of their daily lives in a friendly, non-judgmental setting. The intimacy of these meetings produces significant bonding, and fast friendships are formed. To foster the feeling of security, this is a closed group that holds "Open Sessions" at regular intervals, so that newcomers may attend and see if they are interested in a longer commitment.

GOALS: The Men's CR Group seeks to raise men's awareness and consciousness of what and who they are. A special emphasis is put on what men FEEL (i.e., what are/were their emotions at any given time). Members seek to develop courage and a sense of trust, by first and foremost expressing their feelings in an accepting, nonjudgmental atmosphere, while colleagues listen earnestly without interruption (except for clarification).

MEETINGS: The Men's CR Group has roughly four10-week "commitment" periods per year, with 2-3 Open Sessions between. Commitment means that members promise to attend each of the 10 week sessions, unless prevented by some reason such as work or serious illness. Absences must by conveyed to another member prior to the meeting. By design, the group has no leader, and a very loose format:

• Check-in - After a brief period of silent meditation, any member can start the check-in process. This allows members to spend up to 3 minutes recounting the events of the past week, and how they feel about these events.
• Medical Minute - Following a short break, members have a chance to share any information from the world of health and medicine that they think might be of interest to the others.
• Discussion - This is the main focus of the meeting. Members offer three possible topics for discussion. Members vote on which topic they prefer to discuss. Each member gets three minutes to voice their initial feelings on the topic. After everyone has spoken, the floor is open for a free discussion.
• Check-out - At the end of the meeting, each member has a chance to say a word or two about how they liked the evening, or to mention any quick, last thoughts.

TOPICS: The topics for discussion are as wide and varied as the imagination of the membership. The only guidelines are that men must be able to relate to it on an emotional, rather than an intellectual level, and all members must be able to relate to the topic. Here are a few of the topics discussed in the past:

• How I feel about death
• Things I regret in my life
• How we feel about pets
• My feelings on children
• My feelings on the women in my life
• How do I feel about my mother
• How do I feel about my father
• What do I want? And what do I REALLY want?
• And others

MISCELLANEOUS: Members of the men's group donate $15 for each 10 week session. They are also asked to contribute to the refreshments by occasionally bringing cookies or some similar snack.
While the weekly meetings are the focus of the Group, members have gathered for other activities, as well. For instance, members have gone on weekend retreats, gathered for Super Bowl parties, and even worked together presenting a program at the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship on the group and what it's taught us about being men in today's world.

Last updated April 17, 2003

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