Our Whole Lives (OWL) is a comprehensive sexuality education program designed by the Unitarian Universalist Association and the United Church of Christ to provide accurate, developmentally appropriate information about sexual health, identity, and relationships. OWL helps people make informed and responsible decisions about their sexual health, behavior, and relationships throughout their lives.  The world is changing rapidly, and we are navigating a complicated landscape regarding people’s understanding of sex, sexuality, and relationships. So comprehensive sexuality education is more important than ever before. Unfortunately, many schools do not provide adequate instruction on these topics, and the available resources often provide outdated or incomplete information. Unfortunately, comprehensive sexuality education is under attack in many places around the country. From legislation that limits or prohibits comprehensive sexuality education to the lack of funding for sexuality education programs to a historical lack of adequate information, young people are being, and have long been, denied access to vital information about their bodies, emotions, and relationships. In addition, many teachers and parents lack the necessary knowledge and skills to provide comprehensive sexuality education to their students and children. This leaves many young people without the tools and information to make informed decisions about their sexual health and relationships. Despite these obstacles, it is critical that young people receive comprehensive sexuality education. It is essential to help them navigate this challenging period and foster healthy attitudes about sex, sexuality, and relationships. With the proper support, everyone can benefit from learning about sexuality in an open and respectful environment. When it comes to sex education, the conversation often focuses on young people. But adults have a lot to gain from comprehensive sexual education too. Sexuality can be an ever-changing landscape that requires continual learning and understanding. As our bodies age, we experience physical changes. We need education about how these changes affect our sexual health and relationships. Adults also need to understand how to keep themselves safe from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancies. Comprehensive sexuality education helps adults understand the different aspects of their sexuality, including pleasure, safety, and communication. This knowledge can help adults find more satisfaction in their sex lives and foster deeper relationships with their partners. The program teaches facts about anatomy, sexual orientation, gender identity, contraception, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), reproductive health, communication and decision-making skills, pleasure, and relationships. This information helps participants make informed decisions and create healthy relationships in their lives. All lessons are evidence-based and medically accurate.  In addition to factual information, Our Whole Lives encourages participants to think critically about their beliefs about human sexuality. Through guided discussions and activities, participants learn to develop an understanding of values, attitudes, and behavior as it relates to sexuality.  With its focus on inclusivity and respect for all individuals, OWL provides a safe space for people to explore these topics. This kind of comprehensive sexuality education can help empower people to make responsible decisions about their bodies and relationships. OWL provides an opportunity for individuals to learn about their bodies, feelings, behaviors, and advocacy for themselves. The program builds self-esteem and confidence by allowing participants to explore values and choices. This can help participants feel more comfortable making decisions and give them tools to express themselves in healthy and positive ways. OWL also helps participants understand and respect boundaries, which can be vital in building self-esteem. When it comes to teaching negotiation and communication skills, OWL is invaluable. In new relationships, OWL can help equip individuals with the skills to express their needs and boundaries and learn how to listen and respond to the needs of their partners. This helps create an environment where both parties feel respected and heard. In long-term relationships, OWL can also provide tools for partners to practice communication skills such as active listening and healthily expressing feelings. This will enable them to have honest conversations about their relationship and address any issues they may have before they become unmanageable. The communication skills taught through OWL can also help strengthen couples’ connections, fostering healthy and positive relationships. OWL can help empower individuals to advocate for their rights and those of others, challenge discriminatory practices, and speak out against violence. By understanding the basic facts about human sexuality, we can be better equipped to recognize oppressive structures in our lives and work to dismantle them. Comprehensive Sexuality Education is essential to creating a society that is equitable and just for everyone. OWL gives participants education around these topics and allows us to understand the diversity of sexual orientations, gender identities, and expressions, all essential components of an equitable and just society. Furthermore, it provides people with the tools they need to create healthy relationships and make informed decisions, ultimately leading to a more positive environment for everyone. Suppose you want to learn accurate and comprehensive information about human sexuality, build your self-esteem and confidence, and develop essential skills for communication and negotiation. In that case, OWL is the program for you. Our Whole Lives provides children, youth, and adults with evidence-based information, activities, and conversation topics that will help you understand healthy relationships while also providing tools to promote healthy decision-making. It also encourages individuals to create a more just society by understanding the broader context in which our decisions are made. So if you want to become empowered and knowledgeable about sexual health, head to muuf.org/owl for our listing of classes.

A network is a group or a system of interconnected people or things that interact to exchange information. Using that definition there are many formal and informal networks at the Fellowship. Networks are important in our personal and professional lives as they help us create long-term mutually beneficial relationships. The formal MUUF Network facilitates communications among leaders of committees recognized or appointed by the Board of Trustees and the staff that supports them. In other words the Network is a place to let the right hand know what the left hand is doing.  One of the most important functions of the Network is to keep the congregation informed about ways they can be involved. We are jumping into the new year with a volunteer fair on February 12. At this fair you can find out what committees are doing and how you can help. Whether you are able to give an hour, a day, a week or more there is sure to be a way you can be more deeply involved with our sacred community. Volunteering can provide a healthy boost to your self-confidence, self-esteem, and satisfaction while helping our congregation live our principles. We are looking forward to working with you as part of our network of volunteers.

These are uncertain times, with inflation and other forces increasing prices (and anxiety!) for many of us. While those same forces impact our Fellowship finances, rest assured that our Finance team has been working hard to keep us on course. We’re happy to provide you this update on our overall budget, our Annual Budget Drive, and our Endowment Fund. Budget : The MUUF 2022-23 budget is a relatively austere one, with our $632K total budget reflecting an increase of just 1% over the previous year. Katy Julich, the rest of our staff, and our Finance Committee have been working hard to increase revenues and manage expenses. HUGE THANKS are due to our Service Auction team and participating MUUF members who combined to raise over $32,000 this year! Annual Budget Drive: The large majority of our budget is funded by you – our members – and we are so very grateful for the 157 pledges made during our Annual Budget Drive (ABD), bringing our pledge total to $464,900. Still, we are currently $36,150 from our ABD goal, the amount we need to fully fund our Fellowship’s staff, activities, and good works this year. If you have not yet pledged, we’ll be reaching out to discuss how we might enlist your support. We look forward to talking with you!

There is a lot to report to our community – just pulling into the driveway, glancing at the roof, and walking up the steps into the great hall tells a story of our continuing progress with capital improvements. There is a lot to be grateful for. On February 5, between services, we will celebrate the completion of the ROOF PROJECT. But more is coming, and very soon. Building Addition in 2023 – Timeline Milestones What needs to happen for us to start building? When will it begin? January/February – soliciting contractor bids and pricing February – project design info sessions (dates below – please attend.) March – reviewing bids and “value engineering” (negotiating the best price for the most value) April 16 – presenting the scope and budget to the congregation and voting May/June – Break Ground! The Gateways Task Force has completed the final drawings and documents for the new addition. As you read this, these will be going out for bids. The task force will share details with you, at the following information sessions. This is the final design product! Building Addition Information Sessions:   To review WHY we are building, HOW we will build, and provide an overview of the final design details, with time for your questions and comments. Sunday, February 19,12:30 pm – 1:30 pm in person / Zoom hybrid – in the Meeting Room Thursday, February 23, 7:00 pm – Zoom only ( Funding the Project With over $3.78 million in new funds raised since September 2021, we have the funds to proceed with the project this year. The Board is already applying for a loan to carry us through to project completion in 2024, and through the extended period in 2026 when final pledges are scheduled to come in. New contributions continue to arrive. Over $50,000 in new pledges were received in the last quarter of 2022, including new and additional gifts from current members, and a generous gift from close friends of a Fellowship member family. The donor family, who are also active Unitarian Universalists were moved by the impact their gift would have in creating our addition. Donations also were received on “Giving Tuesday” and from the Folk Project, which put on a benefit concert that was dedicated to our capital campaign. As good stewards, the Capital Campaign Team will continue raising funds to complete the construction with little to no long-term debt. Here are some of the things the Capital Campaign Team has underway: Alumni and Friends Outreach: reaching out to alumni and friends, including members who have moved away and adults who grew up at the Fellowship. Applying for multiple grants; two are in process now. Outreach to Partners: The Folk Project is just the first of many Fellowship partners to whom we are also reaching out. We are reviewing what we have accomplished to date and what the addition will mean to them, and developing events and other ways for them to participate in funding the project. In so doing, we continue to build the community we have been dreaming of, centering at our beautiful home. On the eve of groundbreaking, we hope to have an Alumni Reunion.  Not strictly a fundraiser, just to reestablish ties and bring folks together. Down the road – We will have a Members & Friends Ribbon-cutting and celebration once the project is complete, in 2024! We are also considering a Grand Opening Gala.  We would invite Fellowship members, alumni, friends, partners and beyond to key folks in our community, as part of the ongoing fundraising that will continue past groundbreaking.  We know this will be a blast, and hope to turn it into an annual event that may serve to fundraise for social justice efforts once the Fellowship’s building dreams are complete. Your help is needed for all these endeavors!  Come to the Volunteer Fair to find out more. Naming Opportunities still exist for substantial gifts – let us know if you can stretch to this level or know someone who might. How You Can Help Take a visit! If you have not been visited by the Deeper Roots team – we would like to meet with you. You can reach us at DRWW@MUUF.ORG . You may be a new member, someone who contributed to earlier campaigns but not to the current, final phase, Moving Forward: This gives us a chance to partner with you in fulfilling our dreams. Volunteer Please help with our Alumni and Friends’ Outreach by sharing names and contact information of folks you know who have moved away, or no longer attend regularly. And come to the Volunteer Fair on February 12 to find other ways to help. The Gateways and Deeper Roots teams feel such a sense of pride in all that has been accomplished. It’s been a long time coming, but our beloved community will see this project all the way to completion. Next year, we can move through the Uhrhane-Wilson Gallery, or perhaps across the courtyard, or directly from the new accessible parking lot, to gather in the Al and Minda Chu Family Hall, and break bread that was made in our new kitchen. Finally, there will be a fully accessible, sustainable space in which all of us may dine together. May it be so! DRWW Shari Loe , co-chair Franklin Heller, co-chair Helene Ferm, Gateways Liaison Paul Ferm, Board Liaison Kathy Solu Gateways Task Force Steve Parker, Chair Helene Ferm George Hays David Horst Sandra Persichetti Toby Tyler Candice Donaldson, Stewardship Trustee John Solu, Finance Liaison Barbara Stasiak

The Morristown Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Committee on Ministry (COM) has the mission of promoting right relations within the Fellowship and monitoring the congregational and spiritual health of the Fellowship. The Committee works with individuals or groups when they have a concern, problem or complaint, encouraging resolution of the issues by promoting direct and constructive communication with all concerned parties. While the Board is active in organizing and carrying out the executive functions of the Fellowship as well as developing policy, COM is an advisory body seeking to understand the interaction between the mission and the ministry and on advising the Board of any observations regarding those interactions. Ministries are the various committees and the areas of operation such as Religious Education, Sunday Services, and other programs. COM works to insure all the groups and individuals at the Fellowship practice right relations. Arbitrating disputes between individuals or groups is a key responsibility, as such disputes may affect the health of our community and its ministries. While making every effort to maintain confidentiality, COM will explore any issues to bring individuals or groups back into right relations. Current COM members are Paul Snellgrove, Susie Harris, Tom Moran, Brooke Donaldson, Dan Cohen, Tanya Van Order, and the minister, Joel Miller (ex-officio), who meet monthly to evaluate the health of our ministries and our practice of right relations. Because COM needs to be open, reflective and responsive to the many ministries in the Fellowship and to all of our congregants, especially when it comes to our practice of right relations, we in COM accept and try our best to meet this obligation. If you have questions or concerns about COM or the health of the Fellowship please reach out to one of the committee members.

Do you have a little extra time to make a big difference in our weekly coffee hour? Coffee hour is such an important time on Sundays to reconnect with friends and meet new people! We have started getting grocery store deliveries for the basics. We are looking for a coffee hour facilitator – an individual or team that can help keep track of what we have and what we need and to work with our Administrator Katy Julich in order to make orders and know who would support the staff as needed on Sunday mornings. Perhaps you have inspirations or ideas for coffee hour! This is your chance! Reach out to Carrie Davis at membership@muuf.org for more info.

The Endowment Fund was created in 1994 to ensure the long-term success of the Fellowship. Since then, members’ gifts and bequests have us well on the way to building a mature fund to realize that goal. Our current fund balance of $457,177 reflects prudent investing by the UUA Common Endowment Fund that has kept our balance relatively stable during recent market volatility. We’re excited to share the news that the “PR Jumpstart” project was selected by the Fellowship Board to receive the $12,000 Endowment disbursement approved by the congregation in 2021. These funds will be used to engage a professional marketing consultant to develop messaging, templates and tools that we will use to proactively promote the Fellowship to our community, supporting our vision toward: ​”becoming a large, well-recognized, diverse, vibrant, active congregation” ​”sharing the joys of Unitarian Universalism and its moral philosophies” “expanding and diversifying our membership” Thanks to Dan Reidy for envisioning and proposing this exciting project, and to all those who submitted proposals for consideration. We so appreciate your interest in making our Fellowship the best it can be! Please keep our Endowment in mind as you make your own long-term financial plans and honor significant events and people in your life. A small contribution when a child has a graduation, a family member or friend’s milestone birthday or anniversary is reached, or any life transition occurs all help our Endowment grow. If you’d like to learn more, please reach out to a member of the Endowment Committee (Janet Horst, Barb Pecca, John Solu or Jerry Weinstein).

The science experiment lurking in the back of your refrigerator is identifiable only by Chinese food take-out cartons, that stalk of now-limp celery in the crisper, or the block of overaged cheese sporting a fine, green mold. All contribute to the 119 billion pounds of food waste per year in the U.S., with about 39 percent of said waste generated from our homes. According to the hunger-relief program FeedingAmerica.org, this translates to 42 billion pounds of residential food waste. More than 34 million people continue to go hungry, while 40 percent of all food in the U.S.—a total of $408B worth—is tossed in the trash. As Unitarian Universalists, we are deeply committed to social and environmental justice. Reducing food waste accomplishes both and may reap some surprising rewards. As members of GEM, we have compiled a list of resources and tips to help with food waste reduction. A win for the Earth, a win for your fridge, and a win for our food bank allies. Plate it forward: Encourage guests to take home leftovers. Aim to freeze: That oven-fresh recipe that serves 12 in a household of just two would make for a great heat-and-eat meal a few weeks from now, while packing for vacation. Spoilage alert: To delay spoilage of refrigerated semi-liquid food, (i.e. spaghetti sauce, salsa, apple sauce, etc.) close the container as tightly as possible and then turn it upside down. The contents will move to the bottom and slow the entry of air into the container. Place the container in a small bowl to catch possible leakage. Recalculate your plate: That same oven-fresh recipe that serves 12 can be cut to size thanks to whisk.com, which provides a recipe converter that scales ingredients up or down. Innovate your plate: A fridge full of misfits could make a winner of a dinner, courtesy of oven.com. The Web site, also available as an app, will convert random ingredients into palatable fool-proof apportioned recipes. Get the most from compost: The salad’s been prepped, and the fruit basket has been carved— but you’re not done yet. Before fast-tracking those stems and peels to a landfill, let nature do her handiwork through backyard composting. This reduces greenhouse emissions, and the end product serves the Earth as a low-emissions fertilizer.  Put it in the (food) bank: Feeding America is a network of food banks that assists the food insecure nationwide. Individual donations of untouched food go a long way in keeping families fed. Find a local food bank here: https://www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank For more tips: FoodSafety.gov provides food safety information . usda.gov/foodwaste/activities Composting is a great way to turn plant-based food scraps into organic, low-emission fertilizer.

The Morristown UU Fellowship begins it search for its next “called” minister next Summer after it has selected a Ministerial Search Committee. In preparation for the search, the congregation must select the members of its Ministerial Search Committee. The overall process of finding and calling your next minister is described in the Settlement Handbook ( click here to read it ) published by the Transitions Department of the UUA (Unitarian Universalist Association). From years of experience, our search committees, ministers, and UUA staff have refined this process. It works well for our congregations. This is a brief outline of how the congregation will select the Ministerial Search Committee by next June. A congregation in search for its next settled minister needs a strong Ministerial Search Committee (MSC). A strong MSC will: Represent the entire congregation. Be trusted by the congregation. Understand the changing nature of the congregation. Establish a good process for itself, for the Fellowship, and for the ministers it interviews. To select the members of the seven-member Ministerial Search Committee, the Board of Trustees begins this process by working with other congregational leaders to contact you, the members, youth members, and active friends of the Fellowship. Each leader making calls will ask you to nominate up to three people you think would serve will on the MSC (self-nominations are allowed). It’s essential for a strong MSC that anyone nominated have the following qualities:  Nominees will serve the interests of the congregation as a whole above any subgroup – so, for example, someone with an agenda (“I’m making sure the next minister is not like/is exactly like Rev. Miller”!) will not serve well on an MSC;  Nominees must understand the demands and time required to serve on a search committee. Search committee members will read the Settlement Handbook, complete their work, and attend every meeting. The time commitment requires roughly 8 hours a week of meetings and work from July to mid-November, 2023, then from January 2 until early April, 2024, and for 8 days in late April/early May. In addition to the 8 weekly hours, this commitment also includes a complete commitment to three weekends in February and March of 2024. Nominees are committed to maintain confidentiality, seek consensus, and mustbe able to work well on a team. Nominees will be capable of both self-assertion and compromise. Nominees are aware of what the Morristown UU Fellowship is like at its best, at its worst, and on an average day. Each caller will explain the importance of these qualities and then will ask for nominations. Each member, youth, and active friend can offer up to 3 nominees. Callers then send these nominations to a data-manager. The data manager will send the top 12-14 names to the Board. The Board will then contact this group of nominees, asking them if they will accept the nomination. The nominees who agree to run will be presented to the congregation. At a special meeting of the congregation in April, Voting Members of the congregation will each vote for 4 nominees. Absentee Ballots will be available by advance request to members who cannot attend that day.  The four nominees receiving the most votes are automatically elected to the Ministerial Search Committee. The Board will then appoint the final 3 nominees to serve on the MSC, working to assure a balance of age, gender, sexual orientation, active years at MUUF, and other diversities. No one else, including the members of the Search Committee, will know who was elected and who was appointed.  The Ministerial Search Committee will be presented to the congregation the Sunday after the special meeting of the congregations. At that point, the MSC will be trained for its work by the UUA and then begin its work. If you have questions or thoughts about any part of this, including serving on the MSC, Rev. Joel would be pleased to answer your questions – email him at jmiller@muuf.org. Congregations can learn a lot about themselves in a search. And by finding a minister with the right skills, talents, longing, and calling, you and the minister you next call will begin an exciting new chapter of ministry together.

I recently asked some of our families what brought them to the fellowship. Some of their answers were, “I was looking for a community that held my values,” “We were looking for a progressive religious community in which our daughter, Kristi, could find community, values, acceptance, tradition, knowledge of traditions,” “I wanted my kids to have a religious/spiritual component in their lives. I didn’t realize how much I needed it (and a community) too until we started coming.” There was a theme emerging. I then asked, “What do you hope to gain from your time at the fellowship?” “Community, friendship, learning, growing, comfort, care, giving, understanding, peace and things I haven’t even thought of yet,” and “To be seen and valued and respected” were the first answers.  As some of you have seen, we are embarking on a process of discernment for our Religious Education Process. We are looking at our past (the good and the bad), our present (as rocky as it seems), and our future (the wonders it beholds…) and determining a path for the Fellowship’s programs for Youth and Children. In this discernment process, we will be considering everything from timing, to frequency, to curriculum, to staffing, to budget, to volunteers, to structure. We hope to grow into our new space while living out our historical values. With all this future focus, what is happening this year? Well, we are hoping to create a simple program where children, youth, their families, and volunteers can create a sense of community. We want to meet everyone where they are so that we can invite them into that community. This year we are focusing on creating a safe space where people (young and old) can build lasting relationships.

Zoltan Pálfi, the younger son of the minister, has sent this REMARKABLE video of a Confirmation ceremony, held earlier this year. It’s only 2 minutes but it is a wonderful peek into the village of Sinfalva and the religious life there. I urge you to watch, it really is something special. In this video you will see drone footage of the village and the church. You will also see a youth confirmation ceremony. The Transylvanian (Hungarian) Unitarians self-identify as a Christian sect. However, since they don’t believe in the divinity of Christ, some other Christians would deny that they “qualify”.

I’m not sure how, but Don heard about the origins of Unitarianism in Transylvania,  and decided to travel there in 1990. He and Chica ended up travelling around Romania and actually meeting the Unitarian bishop, Georgy Andrassi, in Torda. Here is a photo  of them, currently on display in the Partner Church Corner, in the MUF library. It was an audacious adventure. Don attended the presentation by Paul Ratzlaff in 1993 where the idea of a relationship with a church in the village of Sinfalva, Romania was first discussed. Don was a founding member of the Partner Church Committee and for the past twenty five or so years, he had participated in our meetings and events and fund-raisers. Don was the most energetic and faithful member of our committee, even though he had no personal connection with Hungarian culture. He was just fascinated with the history, and the first glimmerings of religious tolerance which Unitarianism of the 16 th century represented. Here is a brief history of Unitarianism in Transylvania, written by Don in 1998 for a lay-led Sunday Service we did. The second page is a translation of the Edict of Torda of 1568, adapted for youth, which we recited at that service. Don also enjoyed the connection with the popular vampire myth, which does have some grounding in history, in the story of Vlad the Impaler, or Vlad the Dragon, called “Vlad Dracul” in Romanian. Don usually brought a bottle of vampire wine , which is a red wine that looks like blood, I guess, to our Partner Church Committee meetings at Judy and John Oehler’s house.